Monday, May 11, 2020

Yes.. YOU ARE A HERO.

You are a HERO

31st JanuaryπŸ’”

The scooty slowed down and stopped at some distance to one of the Uthawani ceremony. She was standing at her door, gazing at Uncle's photograph.The faded face of her was telling her pain. Silence was at her lips but her eyes were saying thousands of things. What I think is, we disturbed the long talk she was having with her father. As she noticed us, she stepped inside her house. My father and Bhawana's father was made to sit in the room outside with her brother. And, I and Bhawana were accompanied by her in another room.
Now, none of us were known that how to begin? What to say? What to ask? About 60 seconds later ,she herself broke the silence and said, "Baith jao"(have a seat). We sat down.
Putting some dare, I began, "How it all happened?"
Before that, as we entered in, my throat got filled and eyes were about to be ...looking at her pale face with black spots below her eyes. I was trying hard to control. I said to Bhawana, "Yrr.. I can't control." She said, "But, you have to." Finally, I succeed.
She began answering to my question. She started with pauses in between, "Was a Heart Attack! There was health insurance, money; everything. But, he didn't tell us that his stents date has already expired in November. He got operated in 2009. I was in Second Class. He was getting swelling since November. I made him to examined on this 26 January. Doctor said, "Swelling is increasing. It is spreading from kidney to heart." I said to him, 'If there is something much serious then please admit him.' But he didn't. 'BAHUT BURE HOTE HAIN DOCTORS' (Doctors are not good)" 
With these words she began weeping. Guess what! I was even nodding to her last sentence. What I could do otherwise? Was I supposed to say her,"No actually it is not so. Doctors are good actually.."? NO! NO MAN! I even didn't find it right to nod in No to what she said at that time.
Generally, when someone cry, I used to make her/him comfort saying, "It's okay. Everything will be fine. Let it be. Nothing much. Please don't cry. Whatever happens is good." But, now I was so helpless with my words, with my heart and soul both. I was really not getting what to say? I was not getting how I say her it's okay when I know IT'S NOT! How I say, things will be fine and HOW? How could I just stop her from letting her pain out through those fat tears ? How could I say please don't cry?
All I could do was give her my shoulders to lean her. And all I could say was those repeated two words caressing her head ,"Bas bas. Ho gaya.."(okay.. Enough..) Bhawana started weeping in the another corner looking at her. I signed her not to otherwise she could have even cried more! Finally Bhawana controlled herself though she was uncontrollable with her emotions since she entered in and looked at those black spots below the eyes and that pale, yellow face. I gave her some sip of water and with passing minutes she took a breath . She began, " I and didi used to adorn Mammi. At karwachauth (Festival at which ladies fast for the long life of his husband). Anytime. Because she loved being adorned . She loved carrying bangles in her hands. At the time of Bhaiya's wedding she was saying she will go to parlour to get adorn herself at Didi's wedding, not now. Now I don't know what will happen?"
Ending up here, she again started weeping. This time Bhawana just hold her into her arms and said, "No. No. Don't think this way!!" Trust me, I find this line so humorous because I was so dumb; not getting even a single word to  help her out. This time my tears were helpless and they flowed down. I turned my face soon and didn't turn back until I find myself a bit controlled. Bhawana's tears even flowed down but she wiped them at once.
She was weeping without any pause and was saying a number things. SHE WAS HAVING THAT UNNECESSARY GUILT which only a pure soul can feel. She said, "When Bhaiya was in Noida, he took care of Papa. Then, when he was under prescription of Dr KK, didi took care of him. This time, I was supposed to take care of him. BUT..." And, this 'BUT' and pause after it was saying a lot things, showing a lot guilt.  And the thing was, I could feel that every part, I could hear that every unspoken word of that pause. But, there came in between, one my own 'BUT'. I could see everything, I could feel everything. But, again I couldn't utter a letter, even a sound in a reply! It was that helpless condition I have never been into! She began, "Only I and Mammi was here. I ran the scooty at a speed. Stopped at every private hospital in the way. Nowhere, we found any doctor. M SACH KEH RAHI HUN! (I swear!) " It was the intensity of his pain. Would that I could say, right at that moment, I TRUST YOU! But it was lack of humour in me because I couldn't. πŸ˜ž She continued,"I ran the scooty so fast to get him soon to the doctor. I even rubbed his palms because he was having breathing problem." She cried, " Please take him back for once only. For once only.. Pleaseee!! I will mend up everything.. Please please.. Pleeease!" And when she said this; it wasn't just her, but every part of her heart and soul was crying out loud!! I and Bhawana tried controlling ourselves hard. Our tears were at the edges of our eyes and we both were gulping in our filled throats. Still, one or two slipped down.
She said at last, " Now nothing bad should happen please!"

In the same house, there was even a face, a bit swollen, pale but with that responsible smile over it. She was her elder sister. She was carrying that pain of losing her father in her heart and those thousand taunts of those 'so called Relatives' and still putting that smile over her face of responsibility, strength, care for her mother and sister.
She told me that somebody said to her sister to get married after graduation but it was her father who used to support them a lot because her didi doesn't want to get married until she gets on her feet. But at this time, those irresponsible 'so called relatives' were  creating taunts for not getting married after graduation.😬

Yes Man! I have seen the two ladies who couldn't even cry out their pain freely. I have seen the two depressed ladies, depressed like anything carrying bag full of responsibilities. She was having tears in her eyes and was calling to the Tent HouseπŸ‘€. She was promising to all her duties.
I have seen the two ladies losing her closest one but reliving the beats of him in their hearts. Reliving his soul in theirs.
Yes she was 19. May be a young enough to bear all this pain. But, just think of yourself at her place.
I don't think if there is anyone in this world young enough to lose his/her father and bear such pain even when they are 60! Do YOU?
 May be there are many like her in this world. BUT I KNOW HER ONLY.  )

Do you know I feel inspired of you both? Do you know I feel proud of you both like the countrymen feels on their warriors?

@Poorti Varshney
@Neelima Varshney
I LOVE YOU
πŸ’–πŸ’“

Saturday, October 19, 2019

That I don't care girl!

I and my friends were sitting in the school playground in front of that canteen. Yes, we were finished with our food but not with our gossips.πŸ˜‰ A large friend circle of about 8 to 10 girls came over there with their tiffin boxes and with some cold drink bottles and chips packets.
There was a chole bhature plate with only one or two bites eaten from it. And, yes as much as I remember it was kept over there since we came there and meanwhile nobody did come to take it.
 One out of those said in that very serious tone ," I think we should finish it.. It's not good to waste the food!" Her friends didn't support her idea even others didn't take that seriously. Some think of her as a moron! But, the special part was she was known to all these colors of the reactions still she put her heart out without feeling embarrased and without thinking what others will think of her!
Seriously, my reactions were "SHE IS RIGHT!" I am not saying others were wrong, because yes it could have been that may be the person that plate belongs to is having some serious disease!
The reason I fell for her was her way of thinking and that serious concern for not wasting food!
Besides, no doubt she is cute😊 and having that fluent fascinating English!😍 Though, she is far better at such writings ; but the only reason I am writing keeping aside all these grammatical errors and blah blah .... is my love πŸ’“for her!
@Naila Alvi



Monday, September 23, 2019

An Unending Tale (part-2)

Let's bring you into another memory. So, it's about 27th December, he was sitting with Hammad, one of the intelligent minds I know. I asked Pragati for her phone and tried to click him. Though, I zoomed in but they both were at a distance. And see ,the picture that camera clicked wasn't showing his face! But, the camera of my heart clicked the picture that focused his attracting face! πŸ“·
BUT, perhaps it made a case! Beacause one of my batchmates saw me doing all this nuisance. Even on 28th he saw me doing something unusual, HELL! On 28th December, he attended Maths class which he doesn't used to attend usually. And before Maths class, I was sitting just behind him but then later I sat over the second seat.
Yes! It was Riddhima (his crush)πŸ’ and Pragati who were sitting at the seat just behind him even in  the Maths class. Actually what happened, Sir went out to get any question book after asking it to all of us. Suddenly, Riddhima shouted waving her hand in the way pointing towards him "LATAAA"! I turned back to look at them and they both were laughin' like hell.πŸ˜πŸ˜€πŸ˜„ And, I think I was blushing! 😊
But, the next moment I slipped out of my seat and rushed at the back like an idiot!!😑
Perhaps, he was looking at me with "what!"😢 facial expressions.
Then, they both shift themselves to make me settle. Pragati said," Now you might be feeling why you went out from here? Why you left this seat?" I said," I saw him when Sir entered. So, I was already known." Riddhima was like "what is she saying?"(kya keh ri h y?) .  Then Pragati (the loudspeaker) said ,"She is saying she already knows." I don't know whether he had heard it or not! And, then I saw Sir was stepping back towards the class so I rushed back  and slipped into my seat in a hast!

Oh God! How mad I was?
@Tanuj πŸ’•An Unending Tale

Friday, September 6, 2019

Yes that was you!

 It was all about when I was in 12th standard. The breeze in the surrounding was even normal. Days passed, I had a look of a person whom I din't know. He used to be there always standing in the line of students waiting for clearing their doubts.
Yes, I got to know very soon he was my senior, an year older Bhaiya! He was there in the Droppers Batch. The things were normal earlier.

BUT, the breeze started getting a fragrance when I saw a person sitting on the very first seat with those changed frameless spectacles and that grey shirt deeply indulged in playing with his mind,pen and the questions!

And, from that day I be like,"He is too good." I used to move peeping into the class where he used to sit and preparing for his entrance exams. Sometimes, I used to unnecessarily and intentionally enter in ,to have a look of him . #Yash Bhaiya.

Yes its true,
I was having childish crush on you!

Yes.. YOU ARE A HERO.

You are a HERO 31st JanuaryπŸ’” The scooty slowed down and stopped at some distance to one of the Uthawani ceremony. She was standing at...